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Sunday, August 30, 2009 | 30.8.09
USELESSness
.... .... WeLL,this morning I went to the journ training,
SEPT.4 District Press Con.And I'm so NERVOUS....really.
I came there late .Just because I overslept...I slept about 14 hours.
Without my mind in whatever I was doing there,...HAHA.I haven't finish rewriting my article,I was frustrated.I don't know anything about the topic.Or maybe I was just not into writing right now.----- I am not interested.
But then I got mad,I...I...just coudn't let myself GLOW,standing out from all of them.
I felt USELESS.I coudn't do anything.
By noon,We went to SM,to canvas for the book.GREEK MYTHOLOGY.EDITH HAMILTON.
We accidentally saw our AP teacher.
Ms.Pardilla treated us for a movie watch.It was unexpected to see her with her pale maong shorts and her shirt.
I was laughing while the movie is rolling.I don't why I was...but there's something inside me,telling me,....... that I need to.
Or maybe because of a word.... the ....[details end here]
After that,I got home late.
I was worried....I was.....
OH.forget it.
I AM FEARLESS :>
Friday, August 28, 2009 | 28.8.09
Ganito na ba talaga to'?
This morning,our MATH teacher,Mrs.Angie told us her personal life story.
She taught us,me, to have determination.For us to succeed,in what plan we have.
I admit that I almost cry,pero di talaga,naluha lang.
Kasi ang babababa ng tingin ko sa sarili ko,same as she does.
Di nga ako naniniwala sa kung anong kakayahan meron ako.
DI AKO NAGING MASAYA sa kung anong achievement meron ako ngayon.

WALA AKONG KAYANG GAWIN.

except sa pagdrawing,may mararating ba ko sa buhay ko dahil sa talent na yun?
Ganito na ba talaga to?
Nakatadhana na ang lahat,gagawin ku na lang,tahakin and landas na to at pahirapan ko sarili ko?
Magiging malungkot na ba talaga ako.GUSTO ko ng maging masaya.
Kanina tinanong ko si BHERN.[especial mention]
I asked.
Kung ikaw si MIKE ,anong feeling pag iniwan ka ng group na sinasamahan mo?
SYEMPRE.malulungkot.she replied.
Wala ka bang gagawin para mapansin ka nila?
HHHMMM,literally,hindi ako sisigaw na'hoy,nandito kaya ako.gagawin ko kakausapin ko isa sa kanila,tapos yun.
Eh,pano pag talagang iniwan ka na nila?Ano na gagawin mo?
WALA.syempre,hindi ko pagsisiksikan sarili ko sa taong ayaw ako.At mafifeel kong di ako welcome.kaya maiiwan ka na lang mag-isa.
----TO BHERN.hindi man eksaktong sinagot mo kanina sa kin,pero yan na rin yun.
So,ano......... talagang ganito na talaga to.

hindi ko nga alam kung anong patutunguhan nitong buhay ko.WALANG DIREKSYON.

PS.I skipped today's practice for SAYAWIT.sorry groupmates.PERSONAL REASON.

PPS.HAAY,isang kantang tumatak sa utak ko,ewan ko ba,tuawing naririnig ko,napapatigil ako,nalulungkot ako.
I AM FEARLESS :>
Thursday, August 27, 2009 | 27.8.09
Burns ;'<
Hanggang kailan ko ba to' daldalhin?Ang hirap eh.Wala akong pagsasabihan.Too complicated.Ang tagal na kaya nito.Hindi ba niya nahahalata?Ewan ko ba dun.Ayaw nya ako pansinin?O kaya manhid lang sya.sabi ko sa sarili ko,magiging masaya na ako.Yung
TALAGANG MASAYANG-MASAYA.yung walang kinukubling kalungkutan.
MIKE-MIKE-MIKE
Talaga bang nakatadhana sa kin ang maging miserable.Ginagawa ko naman lahat ng bagay para sumaya ako,pero bakit ngayon......Iba na ang ihip ng hangin.

................ HAAAY.
A while ago.i entered the campus at 5;30a.m.OMG!
FILIPINO TIME nga naman.They came at past 6 na.
NCAE.hhhmmm,medyo mahirap sya,ewan ko ba.Basta.......sana maganda result nito.Sana di ako madismaya.
Sabayang Pagbigkas.We came up at 3rd place,how was that?Sabi nga nila,naisingit lang sa sked namin yun,kaya swerte ng nakakuha ng 3rd place.
tapos,may umuugongna balitana naman,inaway DAW ng PADUANS yung isang seksyon.HAAAY.....[details end here.]

By noon,we practice,actually,I waited for the practice to end,for the SAYAWIT.On FRIDAY.
---and so,my day ends here.
I AM FEARLESS :>
Tuesday, August 25, 2009 | 25.8.09
SMS
I had been looking for that peace,the peace in mind.My mind has been cluttered with busy paper works and things-to-do....I coudn't find a space to wonder my thoughts to.

These past few days,I felt the feeling I turned back to.The loneliness.I have to convince myself everyday to laught,to smile and to be approachable at all times.So,I swore to smile each passing day but uncertainties keep flashing in and out of my brain.I should NOT be the one whose from yesterday.I have changed.BUT...it's too hard,too hard to keep going on,to stand on my principles.

I remembered a friend told me.
"You don't own the worlds burden and pain.There's going to be more to life that you'll be looking forward too.CHEER UP KID!''The word SHE spoke remains in my heart.It made me smiled,it ENLIGHTENED me.But it never healed the growing pain inside.

I'm tried to be happier,the happy-go-lucky kid I was once before.But it seems like these laughters are USELESSif I haven't got someone to share it with.How I swore to myself that I'll never return to the one I was before.
Loneliness always chases me.No one notices that I was left behind,NO ONE.And I blame myself for that,for not letting my voice out and for not letting myself be heard.
Things shoudn't be this way.
Am I that too invisible?OR
Do I need to make myself noticeable just to let them know I was behind?
Would somebody get me out of this pain?
Save My Soul,please.

I AM FEARLESS :>
Friday, August 21, 2009 | 21.8.09
Wag ka ngang MAINGAY MIKE!!!! zip it!
This morning.HAHA.I forgot my pocket money sa bahay kaya wala akong pambrunch.Kaya gutom ako this afternoon.

Our group practice this morning,HAAY.haggard?
So,the fruits of our labor came out.Finally,
walang kutos from Ma'am Umandal.

And so,the rumor of the St.Dominic spreaded.May nagsabi DAW ng di kaaya ayang pakinggan na word/phrase/sentence ang narinig DAW nila.HAHA.May alam ako,I witnessed everything,I hoped it's just a
WHOLE MISUNDERSTANDING. IM NOT SAYING ANYTHING.DI AKO MAGSASALITA.

HAAY.nako naman,ang hirap pagnananalo parating may kabuntot na ganyan.
GUILT is hunting me.

IM SCARED.ano to,damay?
oh well,kanina ko pang iniisip na misundesrtanding lang yon.
HOPE IT'S FINE WITH EVERYONE.

--- adventure awaits me by SATURDAY.nakatutuwa.HARHAR.saka ku na lang sasabihin sa inyo.Sana magawa ku ng tama yung mga pinapagawa dun.
PS.Di ko alam kung saan ako kokopya ng notebook sa FILIPINO at BATIKAN.Mag sariling sikap na lang.
Before I forgot anything..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.DEMETRIA.DEMI kaya pala kinakanta ko yung
HERE WE GO AGAIN.
HOW DO YOU GET HERE UNDER MY SKIN.I SWORE I WOULD NEVER LET YOU BACK IN.---
FOR ALL THIS TIME,HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW ....YOU BELONG WITH ME.
I AM FEARLESS :>
Thursday, August 20, 2009 | 20.8.09
Forgotten? ;<

ARGH.still had aches,heartaches. AndIm tired,really.
Been singing my LSS.
YOU BELONG WITH ME ;x
Nakakainis nga eh.I even drew it,depressed?Ayaw ko na ang pinagsisiksikan yung sarili ko sa ibang tao,alam kong nabanggit ko na to,pero HAAY.nakakainis talaga.

Ayawko na yung feeling na iniwan,napagiwanan=
KINALIMUTAN.HAAY.tatawagin nya lang pangalan mo kapag may
KAILANGAN LANG SYA SAYO.ANU YUN?is that what you call friendship?
BITTER?siguro nga.WELL so much for the drama.
Today,wala daw pasok.QC day kasi.Pero ako,kaming mga PADUANS,may pinagbago pa ba?
AS USUAL,praktis dito at praktis doon.San sa FRIDAY,wala na talagang pasok....
BUKAS,elimination na ng fourth year sa SP.sana ma perform namin ng mayos yun.fingers crossed. ;>
----
I THINK I KNOW WHERE YOU BELONG.AND I KNOW IT'S WITH ME.
I AM FEARLESS :>
Sunday, August 16, 2009 | 16.8.09
Rushed Hours. ;<

There's NOT much goin'on today,I'm REALLY BORED it's getting late.What happened to my Saturday?And Monday is coming the day I hate...
HAY.wala bang katigil tigil tong mga paa ko sa kakalakad?
I had sleepless nights these past few days,kasi ang dami dapat
inaasikaso.Di ko na alam kung ano ang uunahin. Well,anyway,this day I had only 4
hours of sleep.I slept 3am. until 7am.,ung Journ kasi di ako marunong
maglayout,kaya paulit ulit hanggang di na ko natapos.
Kaninang umaga,mei praktis daw ng 8am.So,nagpunta ako doon ng 9;15am ,asahan mong late yung mga yun.Wala kaming magawang step sa mga stanzas,so,we waited for Mary Joy for the choreography,naka assigned sya dun kasi. Until,3pm.GAWD.san natapos ko na yung ibang dapat gawin nun.Para kasing walang naghihintay,which leads me to my weakening.Nangangatog na mga tuhod ko.Kulang na lang himatayin ako.HAY.well,anyway.I need to finish the layouting by tomorrow,and VOILA.finished.
Nakkoo.wala pa sa kalahati yung SP namin.GIGIL.rushed hours.
Kung iisipin nga eh,para atang....di..
oh well,lets be optimistic.
Ayaw kong matalo ng walang kalaban laban.Lets do our best!
Till then,I need to finish serious business.m i k ee
I AM FEARLESS :>
Saturday, August 8, 2009 | 8.8.09
NapagIWANAN ;<
I don't know how to describe this day. Di ko talaga alam.
This morning I started out with being happy tapos kinakabahan pa,kasi,nakasalalay sa araw na to ang bunga ng paguwii ko ng late.

sa Mini Press Conference...
8th placer sa Feature writing.Cory lang kasi yung topic,as a matter of fact,walang relasyon ung pinagsusulat ko dun.
But I feel,I didn't..really....
gusto ko na tong sabihin pero wala akong sasabihan.HAAAYYY.

ang ayaw ko sa lahat...iniiwan ako,tinutulak ako palayo[similar with the pagtulak ni Ieleen,and,so,I have to give one in return]which made me realize na hindi dapat pinagsisiksikan ang sarili sa taong may kasama ng iba.

Hindi ko na nga alam kung sino sasamahan ko, at higit sa lahat eh,
KUNG SASAMA sila SA KIN!Magiging LONER na naman ba ako?Ayoko ng feeling na to.INIISS!
Kailangan ko ba ulit na mag-isa?
......................................................
Guess,I'll be driving the road ALONE

WELL,so much for that.

ee-kim
I AM FEARLESS :>
Monday, August 3, 2009 | 3.8.09
Super -extra.odinary
HAAY.sa wakas nakapag'blog ulit.
BADtrip kasi kompyuter namin.
PAHAMAK. Well.
UPDATES.
As of YESTERDAY. ito nangyarii.
.
UPCAT,.....HAR! Wala akong ibang hinahangad kundi maipatong ko ang score ko sa pasang awa score.Kahit isang point lang basta maipasa ko yun.All I ever wanted was to graduate from UP.At may marating naman ako sa buhay na 'to.

So,kasagsagan ng pagtetest. I grabbed my APOLLO checkers[chocolate bar] from my pocket.Kabanas nga eh,it melted right through my fingers,kaya nadamay tuloy yung answer sheet,questionnaire,instructions manual at test permit
[ng onti lang naman]DYAHE YUN,SO I HAD TO LICK MY FINGERS ONE BY ONE.
san yung panyo ko?WELL,basang basang sya ng pawis,[kasi ang tagal kong naghintay sa ground floor ng building ng ARTS AND LETTERS.GAWD.daming tao.],pede ng pigain,at nasa bag sya.Alangan naman na ipunas ko sa pants ko o kaya jacket ko.mas ...eew.
I had problems when taking those 4 subtest.sa English,kung saan pa yung hindi masyadong mastered na klase ng tanong,[like getting the best sentence from a 4 optioned question at yung pagsunod-sunod ng words para makabuo ng sentence.]..un pa yung lumabas.HAAY!
MATH.I had to leave
AT LEAST 10 QUESTIONS.kasi di ko na talaga kinakaya. sa ,R.C..HAAY.ok lang naman.pero meron talagang nanggugulo sa mga tanong na nandun kaya mahirap din,. At science,HAR,.medyo nanghula.
wala akong alam sa CHEMISTRY!so,ayun lang.ater taking the test.uwii na with MOM.at tulog na kagad.

What happened today.?
HAHa.
I JUST WATCHED ORPHAN.like 5 minutes ago.So,ayun ni'libre kasi ako ni KEVS.AT masaya naman ang panunuod ko.And Im here to make another movie review.GO--MOVIE.GOER.
.ayts,gagawa pa pala ako sa VALUES ng 1-10 chapters answering at I need an essay and a feature and a review again. SAKA na YAN.laid-back eh.


its funny,nakita ko si CAMEA at KAYE kanina.kala nila wala akong kasama,bigla ba namang nag.HI.
Till then,.....
PS>.
nag.rent lang pala ako ng PC dito malapit sa THEaTERS.GTG.. 33-kim
I AM FEARLESS :>